to learn more about me please read my blogs. im a laid back guy who loves animals, and i like to chat, read, shop and flea markets.

no sex cam thank you for reading my profile, im just here to chat and makes friends.
laid back guy with pets 5 dogs, 1 parrot, 1 cat, 3 sugar gliders
recently lost my partner of 15 years on jan 26 2014
im very shy, it takes time to get to know me, I embarrass very easily.

***About Me***

im going to try to explain this. ok so most of you know im schizophrenic thats not news i have been open about it, why because most people dont understand it or what it does to a person mindset, i feel being open about it and willing to answer questions people have with help them to gain a better understanding of the illness, several of my friends know already, they are either nurses or therapists, or have a family member who suffers from it, the biggest thing i am told is you dont seem like anything is wrong, well im good at hiding it, if something bothers me i dont say a word i keep it to myself, once a month when i see my therapist together she and i try to get a better understand of what im dealing with, usually i dont really know i just know something aint right. i try not to bother people with what im dealing with, why because they either dont understand or think i am being stupid, you dont know how many time i tried to go to someone i thought i could trust and tell them how i felt and their response was "well thats just stupid" for someone who is battling voices in their head telling them that validates the voices and makes things worse. another question i have been asked is why the need to feel responsible and help everyone you come into contact with, well you see the voices in my head tell me im a bad person who does not deserve anything out of life, so i go through life trying to make everyone else happy to stop the voices or to atleast hear them say for once "you did something good".......people have also often asked cant you ignore them (the voices) no you cant they are relentless, yes the meds do help keep them at bay but they dont do everything, in most cases i have some pretty level days only minor voices being heard, stress can cause an episode lots of different things can cause one. and yes i took my meds today. for years i never mentioned my illness to my family, of course my mom and dad knew, my mom was the reason i first went and sought help, my sisters i have never told directly, you ask why, well i feel as though they dont quiet understand, and most importantly they have their own families kids and grand kids to worry about and spend time with, i have been dealing with this illness since 1996 pretty much on my own, except during the times richard and john were here to help me through it, thats partly why i keep to my self.recently i let things get the best of me the end result is a episode, often times i feel alone but i must say i know i isolate my self from others because people dont know how to take me, they either think i am fake, or i am a push over and they can take advantage of me, so to keep myself from being hurt i isolated myself from people, but even as a kid i was a loner. why am i so open about things on facebook ? because i am here and you are there we are not face to face and i find it easier to put my feelings down as word than expressing them.............i guess what im trying to make a point by bringing this up is next time a "Friend"comes to you and tries to express their feelings about something listen closely to what they have to say, take a minute to process what they have said before you respond, and if they dont make any sense to you dont tell them they are stupid or foolish for feeling that way especially if you did not grasp what they truly meant, ask them to try to explain it in a different manner, even go as far as to ask them to write it down on paper, some times with me my mind races and i have better luck getting my feelings down on a piece of paper than trying to explain them, now you ask why i posted this long as post about this, some of you think its total crap. well i posted it because i tried to go to a friend today with how i am feeling this friend didnt have 5 minutes to hear me out just as soon as i called they answered the phone and said "i will have to call you back later im busy" its been 6 hours and they wont call me back, i know this because it has happened time after time again, i quit calling for a long time, just this morning i thought hey why not give it a try...well that back fired

I do not "sex" cam I will came but with clothes on. yes I have a video, I made that then posted it I don't do sex on cam real time im to bashful.
my pets are like little people to me, my kids I cook for them and play with them like they are humans. I am planted where I am, I am not moving, and if my pets bother you please move on to the next guy.

***ATTENTION***
due to scammers, if you are in the military and stationed overseas DO NOT contact me till you have come back to the states, i do not care if you have gold and need to get it back here and need a place to keep it, its not here and no i will not send money. if you want to play games and try to scam me i can play them too

*****PLEASE NOTE*****
if you are into games do not contact me