It had been a long time since I was out there, but over the weekend made the trip out to visit the gravesite of Lee Harvey Oswald, who was buried in a cemetery just a few miles from where I live in east Fort Worth. This time, I noticed a curious tombstone on the grave to the right that said only "Nick Beef."
Well, I thought this had to be an interesting story. Was it a pseudonym for Oswald's mother or someone else? Was a porn star buried there? What's up?
Didn't take long to turn up something on the net, of course. Turns out this was a 16-year-mystery that was only "solved" in August of this year by the New York Times.
Now that I discover that it's just a practical joke, I'm not laughing. In fact, I'm puzzled as to why the cemetery put up with it, as they know full well there's no body in that grave. And it strikes me as disrespectful to Oswald, the cemetery, and all the other souls buried there.
I'm considering complaining, but maybe I just need a few beers instead!
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/10/us/mystery-from … .html?_r=0
Patrick Non-White writes: I was digging through my personal files in the office and found a clipping of the best obituary I'll ever read. This notice was printed in the Daily Item of Lewisburg PA on February 7 2004. It concerns Mr. Louis Casimir Jr., of the same town. I was given a copy shortly after this was printed because my wife is friends with Mr. Casimir's daughter. I understand that an abbreviated version of Mr. Casimir's obituary was read over the air on Car Talk. [obit follows]
Louis J. Casimir Jr. bought the farm Thursday, Feb. 5, 2004, having lived more than twice as long as he had expected and probably three or four times as long as he deserved.
Although he was born into an impecunious family, in a backward and benighted part of the country at the beginning of the Great Depression, he never in his life suffered any real hardships.
Many of his childhood friends who weren’t killed or maimed in various wars became petty criminals, prostitutes, and/or Republicans.
He survived three years overseas in an infantry regiment in excellent health, then university for four years on the GI bill, and never thereafter had to do an honest day’s work.
He was loved by good women, had loyal friends, and all his children were healthy, handsome, and bright.
For more than six decades, he smoked, drank, and ate lots of animal fat, but never had a serious illness or injury.
His last wish was that everyone could be as lucky as he had been, even though his demise was probably iatrogenic.
He was preceded in death by his wife of 43 years, Judy.
He is survived by his brother Jack of Houston, Texas; and his children, Randall Kent of Brunswick, GA., Louis John III (Trey) of Lewisburg, Thomas Bettis of Lewisburg and Edith Austin Wheat of Austin, Texas.
Lou was a daredevil: his last words were “Watch this!”
A memorial service and barbecue will be held on Labor Day at Lou’s place.
Donations may be made in Lou’s memory to the Union County Public Library, 205 Reitz Blvd., Lewisburg, PA 17837.
Funeral arrangements were by Shaw Funeral Home, Milton.
Editor’s note: This obituary was provided by the family.
I'm told Mr. Casimir wrote it himself.
Obit can be found here: http://www.popehat.com/2008/05/09/way-to-go/ and some other humorous ones can be found here: http://mentalfloss.com/article/18838/grave-ly-fun … obituaries
http://mytimemattersblog.com/50-funny-bizzare-and … ombstones/
Hot Stud? I don't know--maybe if the credit card's name holder was Hot Stud then the cemetery might reluctantly acquiesce (though I've seen grave stones that coyly allude to the sexual prowess of the deceased!); and I can't see where those who are going to the cemetery to visit their loved ones would feel slighted by a grave marked Nick Beef. If I were visiting a love one there, LHO and those buried around him would be the last thing on my mind.
I agree you should have some more beers-and then another one for me.
Last, what's wrong with a little levity?
He made his bed and now he's laying in it.
Besides, I wouldn't be worried about being disrespectful to a dead assassin who murdered a well-loved historical figure :P