is rudeness the new normal?

my local newspaper had a front page lead story today about the increasing trend of rudeness and incivility. they did a survey in which the overwhelming response was that not only is rudeness accepted as normal behavior, it's increasing and something that's become a part of everyday life. a huge number of respondents said that they've ended long standing friendships because of being treated rudely or insensitively. most blamed the trend on the internet, new social media and the glut of reality and talk shows where rude behavior is encouraged.

this is a pet peeve of mine, something that my family and i talk about frequently. we had a very old fashioned upbringing, it now seems. courtesy and manners were drilled into us and were expected.

now, with the anonymity of the internet, rude is accepted and expected. it seems any site where there is interaction between members, or between members amd a moderator, is a minefield where rudeness, incivility and general disregard of others is an everyday acceptable behavior. in my own life, i've quit frequenting a couple of chat boards that i'd been a member of for over 10 years because the moderators had become so rude it wasn't worth dealing with any longer. even on unattended sites such as craigslist, rude rules.

shopping has become a nightmare. the behavior of people in public places is unforgivable. even getting gas at a service station is an experience fraught with negative possibility.

why do you think this is happening? is it something you've noticed and/or experienced in your own life? do you think there is a solution?
By rae121452 | 10/14/2012 08:05 AM | 2 comments
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  • I've written about this before....Yes, the world in general is getting ruder. It's the new "fuck you" world. Hell, growing up, we were to address our aunt, uncles, and grandparents with a hello and a hug. Now, I can be sitting a room with any one of my neices and nephews and not even be looked at, let alone be spoken to. I just stood at a deli counter in a grocery store and watched a woman texting on her cell phone while her two darling little monsters proceeded to sit on all the fresh bakery rolls on the shelf below. Then, when she was called on it and told she would need to pay for the some 14 packages of destroyed breads, she told the store manager to fuck off and she threw the packages of deli meat she had sliced for her at the deli clerk and stormed out of the store. Really? Is this what we have to look forward to in the future? If the adults are acting like this in front of their children, imagine how these kids are going to act when they become adults. Here in Chicago, it's the norm. I'm lucky, I have a great group of neighbors so living here is comfortible. But the people who surround us all act as if we all owe THEM something. We get sworn at by the kids and their parents just for protecting our property. It's terrible. It's going to get to the point where no one will be talking, just flipping the bird.
    kelleysiland 10/14/2012 06:55 PM
  • I hope such behavior is not "normal." Rudeness is never acceptable. Doesn't matter the time or the reason.

    Unfortunately we have a society that seems to not recognize any boundaries.

    Responding "tit for tat" to rude or discourteous behavior is not the way to go. Being an enabler and not, in some manner, holding the person accountable is not the answer either. The recent VP debate is instructive. Mr. Biden was rude, discrespectful and did not raise the level of debate one would expect for a candidate for high office. Some seem to excuse such language and animated behavior as "Joe being Joe..." Excusing boorish behavior that is more appropriate to a pool hall than a debate between two men seeking the Office of Vice President amounts to enabling such behavior in the future.

    Holding people accountable has to be part of an effort to return civility to a more reasonable coherence in society. Sometimes just demonstrating calmness when faced by a person who is demanding "instant" service or who is making unreasonable demands is the best way. Personal accountability should apply to all of us. Being realistic about what is possible and finding a way to settle for what can be done rather than applying expectations that are impossible is the best we can do... There is a lot to be said about simply slowing down. Quit being in such a hurry!

    FWIIW
    everysooften 10/14/2012 02:21 PM