in response to phillip's twinkie post....

this is my true twinkie story...

several years ago i was reading a book by michael pollan (i think "the omnivore's dillema"). in it, he talks about leaving a twinkie on the window sill of his office for an extended period and how the twinkie never decayed. i decided to try it myself, so i bought a pack of twinkies and put one on a plate and sat it on the kitchen counter. after several weeks, the outer skin was mildly leathery but the twinkie itself was still soft. i have ants in my kitchen in the summer because i live in the woods. the ants never went near the twinkie. i leave my doors and windows standing open in nice weather without screens, so i often have birds fly into the kitchen and look around. the birds never bothered the twinkie. flies or other bugs never landed on the twinkie. i have mice in my house in winter. the mice never nibbled on the twinkie. for awhile, i had a feral cat that would come into the kitchen when i wasn't around and eat my dog's food. the cat never bothered the twinkie.
the twinkie never lost it's scent and never did get hard, just kind of dusty. i eventually stopped really noticing the twinkie on the counter. after about 3 years, i was on a mad cleaning binge because my sister was coming to visit. i decided to throw the twinkie experiment out. before doing so, i cut it open. the cream inside was still creamy and the twinkie was still soft.
i have visions of archaeologists in the future opening our landfills and finding perfectly preserved twinkies, hot dogs and maraschino cherries and thinking they have some ritual significance because we went to the trouble of embalming them before burial.
and i've never eaten a hostess anything since.