when i came on this morning, i noticed that all of his posts had disappeared and he doesn't come up on the profile search. guess we know what his new year's resolution was, now!
Yes, Quiltguy, there is that disclaimer. The problem with that is...I tend to go for the more slender type, he goes for the more robust (which raises the question as to why he goes for me...but I'm fine being an exception). That doesn't mean it won't happen, just the stars have to be in the right alignment, the moon in the right phase and the person has to be exceptionally versatile, quiet, compliant and know how to make an excellent cup of coffee.
There is something about "Freedom of Speech" that many seem to miss. Yes, we have "Freedom of Speech", it's right there in the Constitution. However, that does not protect us from the consequences of using same "Freedom". One does not get arrested for "Yelling fire", one gets arrested for creating a hazardous situation.
Another thing is... DaddyDater is like a "private club", susceptible to rules, regulations and a code of conduct. Webmaster allows us the PRIVILEGE to post blogs on here, it's NOT a RIGHT. As the owner of the site, he does what he thinks is best for the members of the site and for the site itself.
Erlybrd was offensive. I believe him to be not much more than a "flame troll" and I treated him as such. One of my rules of thumb is "don't feed the trolls, it just makes them bigger and they take up too much space as it is". The fact that he chose to end his relationship with this site over this issue says more about him than any of his posts.
yes, i can empathize with erly in the matter of being censored, here and on other sites i've frequented. i have a skewed sense of humor and frequently people don't find the things i find funny to be so for themselves. marc cites the heart full of worms...that was mine. so big fucking deal it got censored. wasn't the first time i've had it happen. i don't really care that much about anything to do with this site or the internet, so i find it a bit difficult to get excited. at the same time, i don't feel any need to be "nice". i've lived too long and seen too much to care what other people think of me. that was the quality i liked in erly, i'd much rather deal with someone who is upfront and honest than "nice" people who stab you in the back. the funniest thing is, i'd probably agree with his perspective re: celebrities paying lip service to disaster while promoting violence in their media.
and as far as being disruptive, it goes back to the concept of free speech. free speech doesn't cover, say, hollering fire in a crowded theater. on a private site, which this is, the person in charge of the site has the privilege of deciding what is or isn't acceptable. it sucks that he can do that but any website you go on is run the same way. apparently, erly yelled "fire". i really hate the fact that he got censored but my rational mind understands it. emotionally, it pisses me off. but, again, big fucking deal. when i get too tired of what goes on here, i'll go somewhere else.
phillip, I shared my greif with one person on this site, Marc, a freind for some time. My great nephew, Noah, was a family gift. My neice, his mother, could not concieve....he was a gift....a Jewish boy in a Catholic family...imagine how REAL confused we are.
Quilty, he was NOT banned, his blog was removed for content. He CHOSE to leave because his blog was removed. He has a hissy fit for not being able to post offensive content.
Um. I think there's a fine, but very clear line between freedom of expression and being a total dick. I have no idea what erly posted on his blog, but the webmaster has every right to keep the website clean for everyone concerned. This is not America or the Free World without rules. It's a forum with freedom to express yourself, but with limitations.
Just to reiterate : The internet is not protected by the Bill of Rights. It's not an American entity. The webmaster has the authority to decide what can be posted and what cannot be.
Again, I respect Marc's judgment. So far, I haven't had any issues with his rules or what he deems appropriate (or not). And whatever his stance has been, I notice the blogs here have been mostly civil and friendly (with a few rare exceptions), and mostly free from censorship.
And it's not just limited to DD here. This happens in almost any website or forum, where the webmasters or moderators retain the rights to remove content that has been flagged by the user community, for whatever reason - whether it's illegal, offensive, spam or not adhering to the forum rules. And like Marc said, if he received a complaint about that post, he has every right to review it and remove it.
I think Wil Wheaton has the perfect Mantra to live by, be it real life or on the internet :
then, may I say to Phillip and those who think the same way, I hope to HELL you didn't loose a nephew in Sandy Hook, as I did, and I hope to HELL you never loose a family memeber over the random shootings, gangs, and terrorism as millions of others have in this world. It's so easy to push for the freedoms of others when you haven't experienced those freedoms taken away by a gun or a knife. The video ERLY posted was NO FUCKING JOKE. Even in that asshole's absence we are all still fighting. That prooves he was poison. My only great nephew was killed in Sandy Hook. My neice is a zombie right now and her husband is inconsolable. They spent thousands of dollars to concieve because of past cancer treatments and he was my families little miracle. But, go ahead, make fun of his death because of a freedom of speech. I really hope this happens to your family to make those who think this is OK to finally realize MAKING FUN OF TRAGEDIES IS NOT OK!
"Marc--You say in one response, "I didn't ban him (ERLY) from the site." But you CENSORED him!! SAME THING in piecemeal style."
I'm really put in a no-win situation here. If I delete it then I'm the Big Bad Webmaster who censors people. If I don't delete it then I'm an insensitive prick. Right?
Someone's baby nephew was murdered and this video picks at the people who are victims. I deleted it because that is the moral thing to do.
The other day someone posted a pic of worms digging through a human heart. It was disgusting. I deleted it. Are you saying I should have left it for people to be see that because deleting it is "censorship"?
No. This is my house and if someone takes a s__t in my living room then I have the right to clean it up.
I didn't throw him out, I just deleted a senseless blog post intended to pick at people who are hurting. I dont need to consider someone's freedom of speech, I'll delete posts like that 10,000 times.
I have to say I'm very surprised with some of the attitudes I've encountered.
Grown men who scream at me and cancel their memberships when I delete a post about underage sex, posts with scat porn, posts that pick on other members, posts that ask for money, posts that trash me or my own site if I ask for a few dollars to pay the bills to support it, or in this case make fun of a group of victims.
I'm just so confused by it. I was brought up to respect authority, someone elses home and to consider the other person's point of view.
But so many of the guys I've encountered don't care at all about another person's point of view. They want what THEY want and dont want to hear any reasoning.
Disappointing.
I'm not going to get into the wisdom of the decision on the blog, as I don't know anything about it. But in general, webmasters are in a difficult spot when it comes to open forums. You can't just allow anything goes or you'll just wind up with a bunch of people screaming at each other. Or even worse, having stuff posted that is horribly tasteless or even illegal.
Anyway, I don't know if I would have made the same decision, but i do sympathize with Marc for having to make it. Having to censor stuff is a no-win proposition, but it comes with the job.
Phillip...I read it and viewed the video...and so did others and it was, by far, the most offensive video I have EVER veiwed. It made me physically ill. The shooting of 26 people, most of them CHILDREN, is nothing to be made light of or to be concidered, as he called it, "Conservitive Porn". And grafficly showing people being murdered and saying that this is acceptable is not something ANYONE should take lightly. What happened in Sandy Hook, Aurora, and Oregon is not PORN for anyone. Have some heart. Would you be saying the same thing if someone posted the tragedy of 9/11 and calling it "Terrorist Porn" after watching thousands of people die? Would you have stood for that as an "American" as he so called himself? It should have been pulled. It was disgusting. I may be a fucking PRICK but I do have a heart and glamorizing the shooting of a group of children has no place on ANY public blog, gay or straight. So your "soap box" is mute! Freedom of speach or not, there is no place for that kind of insensitivity. Maybe I should post videos of someone brutally beating a dog or setting fire to a cat or a thug raping your grandmother and say "why ban me, it's freedom of speach". The vid was sickening and should have been removed.
it sounds as if he made his own conscious decision. i've been in his position, so i can empathize but any decision i made was my own, not forced on me by circumstance. the same with erly.
it doesn't sound as if he was "disrespected" or demonized in any way. he just didn't like the fact that his posting was disruptive and made people uncomfortable, so he got pissed off and took his marbles and went home. if he felt that was the right decision then it was HIS decision.
quilty, i think your observation is spot on. i worked in mental health for a number of years and there's a common character trait in people who are starved for attention. they crave ANY kind of attention, positive or negative, as long as someone is paying attention to them. of course, negative attention is much easier to provoke, so they fall into the trap of always trying to find easy ways to be provocative. one of the hardest things to learn is to not rise to their bait. i think erly had that trait.
but, i'll miss him anyway.
With the webmaster's explanation it appears that "crossing the line" is not unique to any political persuasion or philosophy...
We can demonize those who disagree with us but that gains nothing. As exasperating as it can be to engage in mature discussion when the extreme is so easy to embrace makes finding a middle-ground on any issue nearly impossible.
So went this recent election.
I thought erly was very conservative but, frankly, thought that many on this site were very liberal. When each side digs in and will not acknowledge any merit it the position of the opposite it makes it hard to come down on the side of respect.
Respect is a big thing. Mature people should be able to agree to disagree.
Didn't think erly was any more out of line than those who were clearly liberal on issues... But, then, I didn't see his latest blog and don't know what he wrote. I rely on the good judgment of the webmaster.
He is welcome back anytime he wants to. I didn't ban him, I didn't even say a word to him. I barely know the guy.
I just deleted a post that was unnecessarily disrespectful to a group of grieving people and he didn't like that and he deleted his own account.
He made a bunch of posts and one was pretty offensive, I got a complaint on it so I deleted it. I didn't say anything or make a big deal out of it, I just thought it was a little over the line and unnecessary so I removed it.
He had a meltdown, chewed me out without listening to my response at all, and he immediately canceled his own account. I didn't touch his account at all.
Like a child. He didn't care to hear about anyone else's feelings or my reasoning, it was his way or no way. I was surprised because he's always been respectful to me and the site.
Another thing is... DaddyDater is like a "private club", susceptible to rules, regulations and a code of conduct. Webmaster allows us the PRIVILEGE to post blogs on here, it's NOT a RIGHT. As the owner of the site, he does what he thinks is best for the members of the site and for the site itself.
Erlybrd was offensive. I believe him to be not much more than a "flame troll" and I treated him as such. One of my rules of thumb is "don't feed the trolls, it just makes them bigger and they take up too much space as it is". The fact that he chose to end his relationship with this site over this issue says more about him than any of his posts.
yes, i can empathize with erly in the matter of being censored, here and on other sites i've frequented. i have a skewed sense of humor and frequently people don't find the things i find funny to be so for themselves. marc cites the heart full of worms...that was mine. so big fucking deal it got censored. wasn't the first time i've had it happen. i don't really care that much about anything to do with this site or the internet, so i find it a bit difficult to get excited. at the same time, i don't feel any need to be "nice". i've lived too long and seen too much to care what other people think of me. that was the quality i liked in erly, i'd much rather deal with someone who is upfront and honest than "nice" people who stab you in the back. the funniest thing is, i'd probably agree with his perspective re: celebrities paying lip service to disaster while promoting violence in their media.
and as far as being disruptive, it goes back to the concept of free speech. free speech doesn't cover, say, hollering fire in a crowded theater. on a private site, which this is, the person in charge of the site has the privilege of deciding what is or isn't acceptable. it sucks that he can do that but any website you go on is run the same way. apparently, erly yelled "fire". i really hate the fact that he got censored but my rational mind understands it. emotionally, it pisses me off. but, again, big fucking deal. when i get too tired of what goes on here, i'll go somewhere else.
Just to reiterate : The internet is not protected by the Bill of Rights. It's not an American entity. The webmaster has the authority to decide what can be posted and what cannot be.
Again, I respect Marc's judgment. So far, I haven't had any issues with his rules or what he deems appropriate (or not). And whatever his stance has been, I notice the blogs here have been mostly civil and friendly (with a few rare exceptions), and mostly free from censorship.
And it's not just limited to DD here. This happens in almost any website or forum, where the webmasters or moderators retain the rights to remove content that has been flagged by the user community, for whatever reason - whether it's illegal, offensive, spam or not adhering to the forum rules. And like Marc said, if he received a complaint about that post, he has every right to review it and remove it.
I think Wil Wheaton has the perfect Mantra to live by, be it real life or on the internet :
I'm really put in a no-win situation here. If I delete it then I'm the Big Bad Webmaster who censors people. If I don't delete it then I'm an insensitive prick. Right?
Someone's baby nephew was murdered and this video picks at the people who are victims. I deleted it because that is the moral thing to do.
The other day someone posted a pic of worms digging through a human heart. It was disgusting. I deleted it. Are you saying I should have left it for people to be see that because deleting it is "censorship"?
No. This is my house and if someone takes a s__t in my living room then I have the right to clean it up.
I didn't throw him out, I just deleted a senseless blog post intended to pick at people who are hurting. I dont need to consider someone's freedom of speech, I'll delete posts like that 10,000 times.
I have to say I'm very surprised with some of the attitudes I've encountered.
Grown men who scream at me and cancel their memberships when I delete a post about underage sex, posts with scat porn, posts that pick on other members, posts that ask for money, posts that trash me or my own site if I ask for a few dollars to pay the bills to support it, or in this case make fun of a group of victims.
I'm just so confused by it. I was brought up to respect authority, someone elses home and to consider the other person's point of view.
But so many of the guys I've encountered don't care at all about another person's point of view. They want what THEY want and dont want to hear any reasoning.
Disappointing.
Anyway, I don't know if I would have made the same decision, but i do sympathize with Marc for having to make it. Having to censor stuff is a no-win proposition, but it comes with the job.
it doesn't sound as if he was "disrespected" or demonized in any way. he just didn't like the fact that his posting was disruptive and made people uncomfortable, so he got pissed off and took his marbles and went home. if he felt that was the right decision then it was HIS decision.
quilty, i think your observation is spot on. i worked in mental health for a number of years and there's a common character trait in people who are starved for attention. they crave ANY kind of attention, positive or negative, as long as someone is paying attention to them. of course, negative attention is much easier to provoke, so they fall into the trap of always trying to find easy ways to be provocative. one of the hardest things to learn is to not rise to their bait. i think erly had that trait.
but, i'll miss him anyway.
We can demonize those who disagree with us but that gains nothing. As exasperating as it can be to engage in mature discussion when the extreme is so easy to embrace makes finding a middle-ground on any issue nearly impossible.
So went this recent election.
I thought erly was very conservative but, frankly, thought that many on this site were very liberal. When each side digs in and will not acknowledge any merit it the position of the opposite it makes it hard to come down on the side of respect.
Respect is a big thing. Mature people should be able to agree to disagree.
Didn't think erly was any more out of line than those who were clearly liberal on issues... But, then, I didn't see his latest blog and don't know what he wrote. I rely on the good judgment of the webmaster.
I just deleted a post that was unnecessarily disrespectful to a group of grieving people and he didn't like that and he deleted his own account.
He had a meltdown, chewed me out without listening to my response at all, and he immediately canceled his own account. I didn't touch his account at all.
Like a child. He didn't care to hear about anyone else's feelings or my reasoning, it was his way or no way. I was surprised because he's always been respectful to me and the site.
Oh well, see ya erly.