10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Is Wrong? "Written By My Uncle Jose"

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like breast implants, tummy tucks, haircolor, eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage would be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.


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  • Your Uncle Joe must be bummed the Rick Santorum has dropped out of the presidential race. I remember in the beginning of the gay marriage debate Rick was worried that people were going to marry their pets.
    Spiritwalker 04/28/2012 06:12 PM
  • Omg! Lol I love this! So cool!
    1234ej 04/25/2012 03:59 PM
  • I too enjoyed the paradoxical humor about Gay Marriage by ginnyrican65's uncle Jose. That said, If or when we have an official Christian Talibanistic government that issues a new constitution, then the leaders of that national mega-church may make the rules. Until then "All men (& women) are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator (my mother and father, thank you) with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness," Declaration of Independence adopted July 4, 1776

    Each church may make their own principle, and within the walls of their non-taxed facility those may rule. As for now, I am entitled to all equal rights and responsibilities under the law. If marriage is to be a religious term than let the definitions of that term also be in affect only within each disparate incarnation the aforementioned walls. However once outside, in the air of freedom, you may name that rose whatever you want. I am under the law of our nation equal to everyone else, and our partnerships are equal to every other partnerships, and our congregants are equal to every other congregants. If the Supreme Court wishes to find an illegal way to find a legal way to limit our rights (like making corporations people) than those who don't riot immediately, seriously, hard, and without letup deserve their life in chains that they settle for. "Give me liberty or give me death," Patrick Henry, March 23, 1775
    MachineToole 04/24/2012 11:16 PM
  • Nice tongue in cheek description of a social issue of great interest in this and other countries...

    Notwithstanding your #9 referring to religion not supporting marriage I think we should acknowledge that "marriage" is a religious ceremony. It was that before it was made into a civil ceremony. I suppose it is possible to think that the term "marriage" is, after all, just a term. It is the state announced in a public way that people are after - whether male/female or two men or two women... Call it marriage or call it whatever one wants to call it - I think "marriage" began as a religious sacrament before it took on the tones of present-day society...

    Now, of course, I am not a cleric nor am I a historian on such things. "Marriage" as a church sacrament needs no defense. What is needed is a dramatic shift in attitude about relationships. When the paradigm changes so too will the culture that says "this far and no further..."
    everysooften 04/24/2012 09:24 PM