5 Smart ASS Answers!

Smart Ass Answer #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to
check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and
he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat.... she said, "Sir, I need to see your
ticket not your stub."


Smart Ass Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery
store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a
stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,they're dead."

Smart Ass Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without
a ticket

Smart Ass Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up
that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is
right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up
for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car
and walks up to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got
stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and
ran out of gas."

#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR...

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow.. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other
excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and
asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is finally restored, the teacher smiles knowingly
at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."