Back in 2003 I wrote about how us gays had ameliorated the word 'queer'. Basically, by adopting the term for our own use we lessen the impact of a previous weapon of verbal assault. The same rationale has been used by women who affectionately point the 'B' word at each other and African-Americans who sling the 'N' word around as if it was never a precursor to a lynching. And then there is today's queer replacement, the 'F' word—which no longer represents the expletive solo salute, but the oh-so-crass "fag".
In a sense you could claim that the amelioration of the word queer, to opponents' dismay, hadn't been a failed experiment at all. At the time of my queer-is-ok spot, the word had been watered down into a sip of insignificance. Although some still find offense to the word, the overall impact is like being struck with a feather boa instead of a leather lash.
Yet, the regurgitation of a historically offensive word has not washed away the original offense (or the offender). Today, the bayonet called queer has just been replaced by another weapon of choice, the semi-automated fag. So, must the F-bomb be ameliorated as well? And what then will the run of the mill bigot conjure up to sling?
Should we be free in 2008, a time when all people continue to sway the scales of individualized justice, to use whatever words we fancy in whatever way we please? After all, someone will always be offended as the English alphabet becomes a roll call of what not to say. Backlash is inevitable when all is censored and none are free.
Despite a word's amelioratory firepower, I, for one, feel the most sting when I witness the words roll off the tongues of the younger, young (or very young) who remember not the wound the words created.
So I wonder: Is it better for words like queer and fag to be ameliorated? Can the power of words used to denigrate masses of people be shifted? Do certain groups have a license to used derogatory words as they please?
Power Of The 'F' Word
Being of African decent, one of the things I DO NOT TOLERATE in my presence is the use of the word "nigga" or any of its derivatives, i.e. nig, my nigga, and the like. I learned in my mid 20's that to my great grandparents, it will only mean one thing. It was used when a person wanted to demean and dehumanize them as much as possible. A word like that could NEVER be robbed of it's power or legacy by fraternalization. If you don't believe that, find a 20 something black male and take him to Alabama and let some random 60 something white man call him nigger....you will quickly see just how much power that word possesses.
It is the same with faggot or fag. No gay man likes being called that. Period. Don't bullshit yourself.
being called names like that hurt me when I was younger, but I'm a big boy now
other things offend me much more than being called a schoolyard name by a grown up schoolyard bully
Like I said, ahead of his time.
Personally, I 'try hard' not to use 'pointed words' in anger or in jest. English is a descriptive language that is simultaneously precise and fluid. I don't respond to the pointed words by friend or foe... Well, except once. I was walking home from an IAGSDC (International Association of Gay Square Dance Clubs) convention here in New York. Riding the high of a good time and wearing my club shirt some youngish person driving a ... less than perfect, not new car... stopped at a light. He yelled out, "Hey Faggot." I calmly walked over to his unair-conditioned car with the windows down and said, "A well educated, well financed, and good looking 'Faggot' to you." He was still sitting at the light after it had changed and I had already walked a block away.
When one feels that they have no ability to make themselves better they resort to putting others down. It is how those who are inferior give themselves the illusion of being superior. For me, when anyone uses slurs I accept that they are less than my equal and think of them as children... Being mean, uncertain, and needing to be part of a clique for acceptance is part of childhood. One hopes they will grow out of it. Many will not (even in our community). 'F'inance is a stronger and more powerful word than 'F'aggot. I assure you where I choose to spend my money for my needs they don't use the wrong 'F' word. We become part of our surroundings. I feel that those I have around me are my 'betters.' Perhaps they might make me better. 'F'riend may be the finest 'F' word of all.
eleanor roosevelt once made a remark to the effect that no one can belittle you unless you allow them to. i choose not to allow it. i can't find the energy to care about what other people call me, regardless of what it may be. after lo, these many years of living the life of fagarama the most powerful emotion i can summon up in the face of the term faggot is boredom. i mean, good god, been there-done that.
i think people who find the word emotionally charged are people who still have a dollop of self loathing. if you perceive the word as negative and find the application of it to yourself as negative then you need to examine why you even care what anyone thinks about you in the first place. in today's society it seems that the f word fat is even more provocative than faggot, i've had my face chewed off more than once for using it. the bottom line is that words only have the power that you give them.
the english language is constantly evolving. in the long run, the power of any word is measured by how you hear it, not by how it's used. the emotion behind the usage may be dangerous and that's what's important and to be wary of, not a word.
However, the words I use are not the words you understand... because the meaning is lost. If my audience cannot handle the terminology I am uttering communication does not equal understood message...
A larger issue, I think, is that offensive language, regardless of audience, is still offensive. I remember the term "up tight" was used on late-night talk shows in the '60s... That was a term that came from the barnyard where a bull mounted the cow who was ready to be impregnated. So it is with language. It evolves over time, takes on new meaning, is perceived by one group as denigrating while said by a member of the group such a term is received without offense...
The sign of a cultured individual, certainly the sign of a thoughtful person, is selecting words and expressions that communicate rather than incite the emotions. Some orators deliberately select words to cause excitement and to arouse the emotions. So, in a sense one's motivations can be seen by (1) the manner of delivery and (2) the content delivered...
Masters of the communication arts include people like Herr Hitler and Prime Minister Churchill. Each used language to arouse the emotions and to move people to action - with totally different results.
In day-to-day communication - including the Sunday sermon or even a political meeting or town hall assembly - the language should reflect the occasion, the orator as well as the listener. Offensive language which serve no other purpose that to cause the listener to react in a negative way achieves little or nothing - mankind is not advanced by course language or behavior.
everysooften
west Michigan