Okay, so the question on getting a tattoo has been done... I want to put a different spin on it...
Been seeing this guy a little while... Three months and change, roughly every other week, due to his schedule and all...
My question is this... What does it mean when a guy asks something like "I would like you to help me choose a tattoo. What would you like to see on me?"
I'm thinking, 'Dude, I like you and all, but we didn't even commit to being boyfriends yet...' This is due to my approach of permanently marking oneself based on something I think would look hot on him.
I mean as stated in my profile, I reserve backdoor activity for the third date... This is namely due to me not being able to guarantee my partner that I'll stay hard & excited enough on the first date to make it last... I'd rather "like" you on multiple levels first before I can maintain an erection long enough...
I think of tattoos similarly... A permanent body mark shows a rather significant investment in a permanence or at least long-term planning... Am I overthinking this?
What say the DD Brain Trust? ;)
Most of the comments presented have already been debated in the internal "kitchen cabinet meetings" me and my (ahem) other personalities have had... Was curious to see if others would voice it as well...
Regarding the differences in opinion: We're all adults, right? We've all travelled different paths that helped mold our current personas and ideals... I've posted a (rather intimate) question in a rather public forum trading off my privacy to ask a variety of opinions...
I wasn't expecting a unanimous opinion... Playing the proverbial 'Devil's Advocate' was totally expected... Opinions posted may not be shared by all, given the scenario... Telling others what *not* to think in this kind of forum is a little out of line, IMO... We're all peers here... This isn't a employer-employee type of relationship where one person is at an elevated status... An offered opinion may not fully agree with mine, but it still is someone's valid POV... Disregarding it totally would not be in keeping with principles of accepting diversity as a part of life... It's a gay site, right, so I'm presuming we're gay? If we're telling the world to accept us as gay, why are we telling ourselves that there's only one way to *be* gay?
Again, thanks for responding...
Chillax, for God's sake.
You are asking for advice and we should support you, not turn it into making fun of you the way furball did with his catty comments, belittling something important to you by making it sound trivial and "generic."
Anywho, if you need more support, give a shot anytime buddy.
The key question he asked is "What would you like to see on me?" It seems to me that he is asking if you want to take the relationship to a more permanent place.
You could answer, "That is entirely up to you; it's not MY body!" . . . which would tell him that you are not interested in strings. Are you?
You also might answer, "I'd like to see this certain pattern that emphasizes your pectoral muscles or your deltoids, etc." . . . which would tell him that you would consider a long term relationship with him.
BUT, my best recommendation is that both of you get REAL and approach this discussion with more open minds and candid intentions. Simply ask him the questions you are asking us. Ask him if he wants to become your "boyfriends" as you say. Or ask him what he wants out of your relationship. Tell him how you feel or tell him you are confused if you haven't sorted it out yet. Just be more up-front with him and ask him to do the same with you.
Actually, only you know if the time is appropriate for this degree of honesty, but if he feels uncomfortable talking this directly, at least he will respect your honesty in bringing it up in this manner. Then you both could agree to simply wait to see how things develop. Judging by what you say, you have had perhaps 9 or 10 dates. There is plenty of time to find out what goes on in that head of his, but the most direct way to find out is with honest questioning and open chat.
Best of luck to you
"I would like you to help me choose a tattoo."
I am OK with this. It could mean a few different things. 1) Is he asking your advice because he respects your opinion and sees you as resourceful and intelligent? That is a very bold statement. Or 2) is he saying this because he is indecisive and would like some feedback on his ideas? Either way, this ain't that bad.
Now, the second statement is one that makes me cringe: "What would you like to see on me?"
The fact that he needs to get you to offer to him what you want on him permanently is beyond a turn off. I would be more attracted to him if he just comes home one day with a tattoo because that is what he wanted without my two cents.
If you guys stop dating, he will forever see that tattoo ads something you made him get inked.
So, if I were you I would just make it clear by saying, d omething like:
"Tom/Dick/Harry, I will help you review ideas and resources if you like, however, I will never tell you what to get because I would be more comfortable with you deciding your own permanent tattoo. But whatever you get, I will support you unless you do something beyond vulgar."
Anywho, hope this helps.