Death and same sex marrage.

When I got married to my husband once it became legal in our state, we jumped at the chance. And we loved being married. We did everything right. We got married, made out a will, set up the life insurance, graves. head stones, everything. Little did we know he had multiple cancers that would, eventually, take him from me after 21 years together. Please, guys, do yourself a HUGE favor, cover ALL your bases. It's in both your best interests. The battles I would have had to face were all LEGALLY covered by the laws. And I thank god we did everything possible to make that happen. There are so many ways to save yourself the heartache of disgruntled family so that you can focus on what is needed after the death of a loved one. YOU!!!! Is the loss easy? NO. Everyday is a struggle. There are days I can't even function. But, on those days, all is good because we took the proper steps ahead of time so I could have those days and not worry about one problem or another. Discuss this NOW! While you can and do the proper steps to cover your self and your spouse. I know no one wants to think about the end process but you must. I don't wish what I have been going through this past 4 months on anyone but I am comforted in knowing my husband thought enough of my well being to plan everything in advance. Please, sit down with your spouse and discuss and take action.
By kelleysiland | 09/13/2016 01:21 AM | 14 comments
Comments are disabled for this blog post.
  • thank you for shareing all i can BE SURE ALL BASES ARE COVERED!
    dobbythehouseelf 10/07/2016 09:10 PM
  • couldnt agree with you more, lost my partner of 28yrs a year ago. We were talking about getting married but he died before we could and yes I lost allot to his family. Sorry for your loss
    scampe 10/02/2016 07:51 PM
  • Had a friend whose partner just died. They had meant to get a will or get married but hadn't gotten around to it. So of course, all his partner's possessions went to the partner's family and he's left with a lease he can't afford and nothing to help. You have to take care of yourself, guys. If you don't do it, nobody is going to help you.
    BearinFW 09/30/2016 12:01 AM
  • so sorry for you loss thank you for your blog Reachjay@aol.com
    TheDaddyDick 09/28/2016 10:56 PM
  • I'm sorry for your loss and thank you for your kind response by warning us.
    bibearhunter 09/24/2016 04:30 PM
  • Sorry for your loss but your advice is paramount and solid. While personally I do not believe in same sex marriage, those
    who do should sit down immediately and take your advice to heart and act upon it.
    tobayer 09/17/2016 08:43 PM
  • My thoughts and prayers go out to you
    chub4bears 09/15/2016 08:10 PM
  • Now that marriage is legal, I'd think that would take care of most of the problems in most places. However, many gay male couples are reluctant to marry. Your story should serve as a cautionary note.

    But beyond that, know your state laws, you should have at least *some* idea what your in-laws are like (though money can cause people to do things you wouldn't expect), and know your state. If you're in Mississippi instead of say, New York or California, you'd better have every i dotted and t crossed!
    BearinFW 09/15/2016 04:16 AM
  • You are so generous with this advice, and so right. Thank You and all the love and strength to you.
    art4you 09/15/2016 03:30 AM
  • Im so sorry for your loss. That sucks so bad man :(
    Marc 09/15/2016 12:28 AM
  • In 2005 I lost my life partner of 34 years before marriage was legal in my state. He was my first and only love. We (years prior to him getting cancer) had everything put in both our names with rights of survivorship. His family in No. Dakota thought they were going to be business partners with me after his death, however I was protected from that nightmare by having everything legal and binding to prevent their selfish demands. Thank god we did all this legal stuff before he got ill.
    xplorer 09/14/2016 10:42 PM
  • I am also very sorry to hear of your loss. You also have my deepest condolences. Please be strong. Life can also reserve good surprises to you. And living the pain in a "good" new way.
    Calogero 09/14/2016 08:02 PM
  • I can't agree more with Kelley. When those who are working for companies that provide benefits such as term Life Insurance offered during open enrollment, if you have a domestic partner or husband, please PLEASE check the radio button or box to buy the HIGHEST amount of coverage. Term Life is the cheapest form of insurance, and when you are part of a group, the rates are even cheaper. I did it every open enrollment, covering myself for my husband, and I assumed he did the same for me at his work place. He did not. He was diagnosed with brain cancer, and died 4 months later, and all he could say was: "I'm sorry." If anything, please have the discussion to make sure you are doing everything you can to take care of those who love you and you love.
    GAMsilvrfoxHUNTR 09/14/2016 03:37 AM
  • Very sorry to hear of your loss, you have my deepest condolences.
    Thank you for taking the time to spread such an important message to everyone.
    Red 09/13/2016 06:36 AM