Remembering my brother

The 19th of August was the 3rd anniversary of the death of my brother. He is a couple years older than me and he was a couple years wiser than me. I miss him alot and to think it had to take him getting sick to bring our family together. Yes, i know stupid huh? it seems that after my parents both passed away it seems that all of my family sorta went there own way for about 5 years after my parents passing and then i got a call that David was really sick and he did not have much time wow that was a knifr through the heart so i started making trips back to CA almost every weekend for the next couple years and i know i could not make up all the years that went by that we were not close so I was going to make dam sure that i could make his remaing days as happy as i could so i would go back and there was always a smile on his face each time i came and that was enough to make me happy and I would do anything he wanted and i wold take him shoppping or wherever or what ever he wanted to do. We talked alot and we cried alot and we laughed alot. He did get to come to Las Vegas to visit me for a weekend and i rolled him all over las vegas strip and it was so amazing to have him and we just had the hest time . I got the call at work 3 years ago at work that he had passed and I once again went back for his funeral remembering all the good times, forget the bad times and hoping I did enough his last days to make him happy. The one thing he wanted was to have his ashes released in the ocean he loved the beach and that was done in his honor.

If you ask me what was wrong i can only say that this is what smoking will do and if you smoke this is what is going to happen to you that smoking is not good for you and his veins were so clogged that the doctor says there is no hope. So i am pleading with you that if you have a loved one this is what you have to look forward to . I can tell you how much i miss him he was the best and he will be in my heart and in his honor i do light a candle for him and always say how many more loved ones will be taken away from us by smokeing. Thank you for listening to me and sharing my story,


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  • Thanks for sharing your touching thoughts of your relationship with your brother over the years. I, too, have a similar situation with my only brother who is a 1½ years my senior. He just sent me a letter saying that his doctor had discovered a 'mass' in his rectum but wasn't sure if it was cancerous. He said that when he was undergoing tests for the mass, they also took chest x-rays to see if his lungs were okay. They checked out okay which is surprising to me since he smoked Kools for as long as I can remember and not only that, he used to break off the filter before smoking it. I, myself, was a smoker until 18 months ago when I finally quit after 40+ years.

    He lives in the Stockton/Tracy area of northern California and I haven't seen or spoken to him in over 7 years. What makes it even more difficult to communicate with him is that he doesn't have access to a computer or a phone so everything has to be done via snail-mail which is ridiculous in this day and age! Anyway, I would like to see him sometime soon just to know that he's okay and, unlike for you, I hope it isn't too late.
    zoot4me 09/07/2012 06:11 PM
  • I smoked for 35 years until I quit about 2.5 years ago. I was surprised that I didn't have that much trouble quitting, but then, I had a *strong* motivation. My doctors told me that if I didn't quit it would increase the chance that I might become a quadriplegic. Well, I didn't really think that would happen, but on the off chance that something did go wrong, I didn't want the docs to be able to blame it on smoking, so I quit.

    Wish I had done it YEARS earlier, but it's not easy to do and you have to *really* want to do it. Half-assed won't work. My best friend is an amputee who lost a leg in part due to smoking. But he continues to puff away knowing that it could well cost him his remaining leg, too. Tough habit to quit.
    BearinFW 08/27/2012 04:30 AM
  • That is really touching as it brings me back to my father's death. He had cancer of the neck and was ok for awhile and then cancer of the esopagus from smoking and then had a trake put in for awhile and that lasted for a bit till he past away and was ablbe to see me retire from the Navy after 30 yrs as I was the first son to him. It is true about the family thing when someone is not it good health as it took me to come home several times when I was in the Navy to help my sister w my mom and dad as I had two other brothers that lived only ten minutes away that didnt hardly help out w my sister. I know how it goes w family as it takes a death then they swarm around like flies wanting everything after they passed away. It is really as shame that has to happen and miss them both as my mother it two months before I retired from the Navy and my dad was there for me at my retirement then shortly passed away. I miss them alot and remember all the fond memories of them both. I hope that you are able to move on in ur life and that u wil cherish his memories forever. I did also lose a brother next to me as he shot himslf in the head on Mother's Day also and it took me over a week to get back to the states for his funeral was over by the time I got home. I feel the pain in ur heart and u must go on in ur life and it must not ever stop as ur brother would want it that way. Huggs to u friend and thxs for sharing your sorrow w me. Randy
    biggermancock57 08/26/2012 12:08 PM
  • I recently lost my mother due to Lung cancer and she smoked all of her life, however she was 84 years of age. I used to smoke myself, but stopped 10 years ago due to being diagnosed a Diabetic. I feel a lot better and am able to breath as normal. Smoking is a bad habit, but I do understand how addictive nicotine can be. I just stopped and never took it up again, and I smoked for 30 years! The less smokers in this World will make it a healthier place to live in.
    hugzy 08/25/2012 11:43 AM
  • A very touching story. Thank you for sharing. Was moved by how you reconnected with your brother and how you made his final days into memories that will last you a lifetime.

    As a teenager the pressure to smoke was very real. All my friends smoked. My parents and my aunts/uncles all smoked. Many of my cousins smoked. I remember buying myself a package of smokes and going upstairs in the old farmhouse where we lived. I squirreled myself away in my bedroom, closed the door and lit up one cigarette and sprawled across my bed looking out the window. I took all of two puffs then said to myself "that tastes like shit, what the hell am I doing!?" and then threw the whole package away. Never put another one in my mouth...

    Now, there are other things I have put in my mouth... But that is another story!
    everysooften 08/25/2012 06:26 AM
  • I lost two brothers to smoking and the resulting heart attacks. I stopped cold turkey 30 years ago and still fear that hidden processes are still at work to undermine my health.

    Nicotine is a highly addictive substance. We used to call smoking a "habit" but it is really an addiction.
    rjzip 08/24/2012 12:17 PM