Times, they are a'changing.

Recently I had the good fortune of entertaining a hot guy. My intention was to suck his cock and expected he'd do the same. As he got his pants down, I noticed that he had not only a marvelously hard cock, but a wonderful ass. I got my arms around with both hands to enjoy the feel of his ass. You have to understand that, although I'm a top, I prefer sucking guys to fucking them. As time went on, he was in my mouth and I reached around to grab the wonderful ass. He said, "you can fuck it, but don't play with it." Wow...then it hit me. Years ago guys mostly didn't fuck, they sucked or jacked (which is why I found the fucking scene in "Brokeback Mountain unauthentic ). Getting fucked was the fem role. So, as I reflect on the guys I've recently met, I'm beginning to understand that lots of guys, especially married, want to be fucked as their basic m to m sexual activity. I think I've lost several good sex partners because I didn't adjust to that and wonder whether other guys are finding the same.
By neal46 | 12/28/2011 09:01 PM | 7 comments
Comments are disabled for this blog post.
  • For me Personally ---oral sex is great yet why do we just let things stop there why not look at sex as a sensual part of things --touching a man all over his body watching him squirm like a 16yr old all over again we seem to for get the lost art of real long hours of passion in the sexual love making and enjoying it

    if you want the quick wham bam thank you sir then great

    I want it for a long extended period of time

    and want to have the man look at me in the eye and say do not stop please

    and yes I have one that has yet to let me stop ---well for a few hrs here and there to update a few things here and there

    Happy NEW YEAR to you aLL

    Mike
    denver69angelman 12/31/2011 10:58 PM
  • I also remember the Golden Age of Porn and yes there was an apparent distinction between tops n bottoms. Also there was this flaccid problem. But my idols of that time were truly versatile, Jack Wrangler for one. True he wasn't furry but he was hot and gave as good as he got! Others like Bruno were tops simply because he was muscular and furry! In my opinion he rarely fucked with any conviction.He had a lot of solo scenes. I think that many who see themselves as tops only have this misguided notion th at they are more masculine but in the end it's a man who got your dick's attention and it's a man's ass your fucking! Plus if one is oral then no matter what the label your still a cocksucker!
    URIP 12/29/2011 05:16 PM
  • Well, as I remember when I was coming out in the 80's, there was an expectation that you would be a passive bottom until you had some experience. I always felt some stigma about taking the 'passive' role in any act. This always bothered me. My nature was always to be more receptive than active. I wasted years trying to be someone I was not.
    Now that I'm old enough not to care I find I can do anything depending on the chemistry of the moment and the man. I'm less afraid of losing my masculinity and give up my holes willingly to those to whom it is appropriate. I also share my masculine energy more eagerly because it is freely given and not because of some expectation of how we should be.
    eye2eye 12/29/2011 02:08 AM
  • I don't understand how someone who is a top and is sucking dick and doesn't want to fuck is still a top?
    I'm not making fun but aren't our actions more important than our words? Lots of people have sex without any penetration at all. Frotage works for many, some enjoy mutual masturbation, (no penetration at all, would the top be the man to the north?) I have started collecting older porno movies and it is interesting that those virile, big mustached, fuckers mostly just blew each other. At least in the movies I've seen recently, the guys were pretty oral oriented. It may have something to do with the lack of Viagra at the time. Even getting a blow-job on-screen these guys barely seem up to the effort.
    I am of a certain age though, and do remember a time when we made a distinction between 'oral' and 'anal' as if one were more acceptable than an other. You could put your mouth on a mans penis if he was 'cute' or 'hunky.' If you just liked him on an emotional level, you had no defense if he was small-hung or less than conventionally handsome. If he fucked you you were a 'Nelly' and just had to accept what life gave you. A 'nelly' pursuing a 'macho' is condemned to a shallow life of lust, and, longing, but never a fulfilling relationship.
    You get great admiration on my part for enjoying sex as a commingling, divorced from any attitude of top or bottom. These days though I find we're defined that way. I'm enjoying more receptive anal these days rather than being 'on top' though I spend much of my time there.
    I think in general people are more accepting of anal sex in general. We are all more fluid in our practice though for shorthand at the time of a hook-up it's helpful to be able to define what one is looking for. "I want you in me" passive, or "I want to be in you" active.
    eye2eye 12/29/2011 01:30 AM
  • Personally, I find anal sex boaring. I think giving and getting oral is much more intimate.
    kelleysiland 12/28/2011 11:44 PM
  • I also found the fuck scene in BBM to be unauthentic. So much of the panting to express lust and arousal smacked of straight soft core porn. And to fuck a guy in the cold with no lube? Are you kidding me? I have to say that the label in Europe and Latin America of Passive or Active does imply a certain leaning towards the old fashioned ideals of sex and penetration. But if you find married men that wants to be fucked then, be considerate of their wives, who probably don't know, and try to be safe. Was that a soap box? LOL
    URIP 12/28/2011 11:42 PM
  • Speaking only for myself my preferences are simply for mutual enjoyment. It has more to do with connecting on an intellectual basis and if things progress to more than that it depends on the connection. Am not into "bed hopping." I try to be selective and am known to decline invitations occasionally. Nothing personal, just a preference. It is quite intangible as to why... As for being married and presuming that being the bottom is seen as the "female position" I do not think in those terms at all. The goal is mutual enjoyment - that which is pleasurable and mutual, respectful and mindful of each other's limits, is what turns me on more than ever... I really believe that sex begins in the brain... It ends up elsewhere but that elsewhere is simply a reflection of our construction (as men).

    As to what it was like "in the old days" I cannot even offer an idea.... My active m2m time only extends to somewhere around 3 or so years... At the grande olde age of 68 am still a novice in many things... but always eager to learn!

    everysooften
    west Michigan
    everysooften 12/28/2011 10:01 PM