Appeared on a t-shirt years ago. On a previous BLOG I voiced my opinion on bisexuality; now I'm questioning heterosexuality. Huh? I must confess that I am a frequent visitor to Craig's List. If you've never visited before may I suggest that you do so if only to find the current definition of "straight."
This past Saturday I parked my ass in front of my TV to watch a DVD of a film called "Infamous," a film about gay author Truman Capote and his involvement with the two murderers of the Clutter family of Kansas in 1959, while researching for his classic "In Cold Blood." To those who never saw Truman as a guest on The Tonight Show when hosted by Jack Parr, Tru was a very effeminate little man. When Capote visited the first accused killer he was asked, "You a faggot? You want to suck my dick? I'm not a faggot if you suck my dick. But you're a faggot if you suck my dick."
'scuse me! Maybe I'm from a different era when no self described "straight" guy would even imagine in his wildest nightmares so much as being touched by a "faggot." Who are these so-called straight men looking for a hot mouth or ass. And, of course, they are married. Dude, if you want another guy touching you, in any way, you are not straight. NOT STRAIGHT! Maybe Bi? And you already know my opinion on "Bi." Bottom line: what is straight? Oh, by the way, if you want to see the new James Bond (Daniel Craig) kiss another guy, check out INFAMOUS.
I consider myself gay because I enjoy men on a certain level. Many of the straight guys I have tricked with just did the deed and went back home to play house, pay bills, cut the yard, and be a family man. Having sex with me should not change any of that IMHO. It's not being in the closet per say, it is not low self esteem, it may be deceitful, but again I see a random sex exchange as sex nothing more. I have had sex with many women and am in no way considered bisexual or straight, I am gay. The end result of being with the woman was to get to the man in most cases. Strange how a gay can sleep with women and not be bisexual or straight, but the instant a straight man has man-man sex he is gay and that is all there is. Kinda unfair.
As I have grown and talked more with people I do accept that one has to wonder about straight men who seek gay sex and go to gay bars and arcades and truck stops hunting for acts with other men. That is one of those major grey areas for me. When one becomes a regular at these places and gets quite adventurous and quite familiar with man-man companionship I do begin to wonder about the hetero part said person. I may raise an eyebrow to it, I may become curious about it, but I have to let that person work that out. It does not take much for a man to convince me is gay, he either says he is or says he is not--for me it is that simple. I do wish that society would take back that old addage about being a bridge builder, sucking a guy off, and then being forever considered gay. I do hope that as time passes people can be more comfortable with who they are and can enjoy all that life has to offer with no fear, shame, closets, or guilt.
Many of the booths had glory holes between them. More often than not, I would be sucking a cock coming from a str8 movie.
Back then I wasn't out. I didn't really think I was gay... just a cocksucking str8 guy, still looking for the right woman. (And to think I couldn't find her at the glory holes!) Anyway, I figured I was there sucking cocks of other str8 guys who couldn't get a good blow job from their wives at home.
My point is this... we all have our own internal image of ourself and label that goes with it. Gay, str8, bi, deviant, bear, cub, dad, top, chub, etc. As our own minds change I guess the labels might not fit.