Early in my military career I learned there were three subjects sure to generate strong emotional reactions from others. After finding out just how strong some reactions can be from some people I decided that I needed to avoid those subjects or not interact with that person at all.
What I have found, over time, is that two people can intereact on several different levels, however. Strong differences of opinion on those three emotionally-laden subjects do not have to be a subject raised. Until there is a level of trust between myself and the other person putting my opinions about any of those three subjects "out there" was risky...
Those three subjects were (and remain): politics, religion, and sex.
The now-concluded national election in this country has exposed a deep divide among the people in so many ways that many are totally unable to engage in civil discourse. Because the campaign took so long to the election the divisions among the people were laid bare for far too long and the desire to talk with another person in a civil manner and with respect has degenerated to tragic results in so many ways...
These examples come to mind:
(1) today I had a client come to me for assistance to get a bank loan based on an estimate of what her tax refund might be when her tax return is filed. The loan was successful and she was elated beyond measure. But her story really touched my heart. She is a strong Christian woman and called me "sweetie" repeatedly as I processed her paperwork.
While her story is more lengthy than I can relate in this blog suffice it to say that she is an employee with McDonald's. Her total income is less than $11,000. She has three dependents. She moved from Puerto Rico to Chicago some years ago. While in Chicago she was a member of a female gang. She got tired of that life and came to Grand Rapids and lives just blocks from me. While on the job at McDonald's just recently her boss asked her to take an order to a man who was waiting in his car and had ordered at the drive thru window. When she reached the car the man (he was white) lambasted her with racial epithets about three other cars being served before him. He said things like "why don't you people go back to your own country?" It was "fucking this" and "fucking that." She responded courteously enough and merely said she was bringing his order out because her boss asked her to. She pointed out that she was a US citizen - just llike him. That wasn't good enough. He lambasted her again - flipped her off with the finger and uttered all kinds of unthinkable words as he drove away... She merely responded with "have a blessed day..."
The point of the story, aside from that guy being such an ass, is that such behavior is not unusual. I feel that such behavior is more common now than ever. Political issues highlighted in the recent campaign and before the Congress may have caused this guy to go off on the closest person who appeared to be a minority person, vulnerable, or an easy mark... Respect for her as a human being was totally missing.
(2) A good friend of mine is an ultra liberal and (so far as I know) a card-carrying member of the Democratic Party. He is an avowed athiest. We often go out for a game of disc golf followed with a beer or two and engage in discussion about politics, current issues, and how the world was formed (not "created"). Because we have worked together as office leaders within our district we have respect for each other though we will disagree with each other on various issues. The discussion is always friendly and there is no emotion.
For the record I am NOT a registered conservative or liberal of any party. For the sake of discussion I will sometimes take the opposite view from his and for every point he makes respond with a point drawing his attention to another way to think about or "solve" the problem. We simply agree to disagree sometimes. He listens to me, I listen to him....
When I was a new enlistee in the US Army I met a big bear of a guy from Wisconsin. After we got out of our uniforms we caught the ferry to the lower east side of Manhattan and would, at times, hit every bar that was open. We consumed a lot of beer and we talked about every issue under the sun. As a kid in the big city of New York from a farm in central Michigan I learned a lot in a very short period of time. He was a draftee (college degree) and I was a volunteer (high school diploma). We had fun and there was trust between us and that led to an ability to discuss issues of politics, sex and religion openly and without calling the other person ignorant, stupid, or evil.
I long for a return to civil discourse where people can, among other things, "agree to disagree" on sensitive subjects such as politics, sex and religion.
Frankly, what I have seen too often in the blogs on this site leaves much to be desired when political issues are addressed. Often, the topics raised are best characterized as a rant. It is one thing to state one's opinion but it is quite another to state it in such a way so as to dehumanize anyone who might have a different philosophy or opinion.
Just my opinion.
Thanks for the comment. I will not respond to a rant regardless of when it occurs. Such postings will not generate response from me. These certainly occurred before the election and they have continued after the election (with decreasing numbers, I grant you).
It really doesn't matter when a negative post occurs, if the intent is to generate an emotional response and to dehumanize those with a different opinion or position then it is my opinion the language used should be reviewed.
We have to find ways to reduce the quick fire anger that permeates our society. It begins with engaging the brain before engaging the mouth (or, in the case of blogs here) before typing words that slander those with an "opposing view." If we don't start somewhere then the fabric that holds this Republic together will have been lost. That would be tragic.
What is ironic is that supposed educated people would realize the validity of what I tried to express. But I have come to awareness that being educated and intelligent does not make one any less inclined to lose his cool.
Anyway, thanks again for your perspective!
It's easy to hide behind the anonymity of the Net and rant. I think people are a lot less inclined to do that in person, as that takes considerably more courage.
i agree the last election was divisive. we had a presidential candidate claiming that 47% of the voters are worthless. we had issues being discussed such as building a wall across the mexican border to keep out any poor brown or tan people who might try to sneak across. (if ANYONE actually believes that terrorists have to impersonate poor indians and take their lives into their hands, sneaking across miles of desert to enter the u.s....well, i've got a bridge for sale). we had politicians claiming that women who are raped somehow deserve or encourage it and should bear the brunt of punishment for it. that's just a few things that i remember being in the news. i wonder where your fine sense of outrage was then?
maybe a solution would be for you to address the problem case by case, as you see it?