Sometimes its better to abstain...

Hey guys,

Some of you will probably think I'm full of shit but if i can say this without sounding like a pompous asshole, just maybe some will believe me.

In my blog "that was weird" I told of my first playtime with a good friend of mine that is happily partnered. Since that time I've blown him twice but that's it outside of some playful grab assing. He jokingly refers to me as his first concubine if you can believe that. Anyway life being what it is, it has chosen to throw a monkey wrench in things.

His partner landed this ridiculously sick job and he will be making nearly twice their combined previous income. When they shared the news with me I was beyond happy for them. My joy for them was quickly covered with a wet blanket when they told me they would be moving....450 miles away. I love these guys dearly and at the moment I have no idea how to fill the hole that will be in my day to day life once they're gone.

As it turned out, the partner has to be there next week while the other has to stay here to try and get the house finished and ready to rent. It's been a very emotional time for everyone and this fact lead me to make a decision: I will not play with my friend while they are separated. Somehow that would feel wrong to me.

I have to think of their son who is still young enough to get confused by the fact "Papa" is gone and Steve is there all the time. I don't want Papa to have certain thoughts floating in the back of his mind when he needs to be able to concentrate on his new extremely well paying job. Separations are tough enough even when things are perfect and i don't want any " when the cat's away..." type thing happening. It would feel like I'm doing something behind Papa's back and I refuse to go out like that, I love and respect him too much.

I promised him that I would watch over his family while he is gone and that I have chosen to suspend my benefits privileges. He assured me that wasn't necessary because he trusts me, but I feel that it is. How else can I honor that trust and show him I would never take advantage of him or the privileges he's given me. He leaves in three days and I'm hating it already, I cant imagine how I'll feel when his family joins him up north. I'm sure the subject will come up again before the separation occurs but I've made my decision and will stand by it.

I guess you can't always be around the ones you love but love and friendship easily overrides distance, and I'm going to do all I can to ensure thats the case. Let me know that you guys think.

Thanks for reading!