"DDF"

Hello, and let me start by informing you that I am DDF, that is to say, I am free of leprosy, rabies, and the Black Plague, and I have only the usual number of resident bugs that you might expect to find in an adult man.

But then, you do too. Have "bugs," I mean, however inconvenient a truth that is.

Here's a quick and dirty science lesson for you. Of the many billions of cells we are composed of, slightly more than half of them are critters other than "us." Some we need, like the bacteria that make our Vitamin K (without which we might bleed to death, even from insignificant cuts), some are neither our ally nor our enemy unless the overall balance of factors changes or the bug gets into the bloodstream, they just live inside us, and others are enemies held in check, or not held in check.

And if you grew up in America, chances are upwards of 80% than you had chicken pox when you were a kid, so guess what, you have resident herpes in your body, too! It embedded itself in your tissue and went to sleep, but it might manifest as shingles when you get old and your immune system starts weakening. Just sayin'.

Had enough?

Meanwhile, you other HIV negative guys, can we just own that when we say "DDF," what we are really doing is identifying that we are HIV negative, and saying in politically correct code "poz guys, just stay away" ?

By the way, I AM HIV negative, but in 2017, HIV is not the death sentence it once was, and for most HIV poz people, it is a condition they live with and manage, like diabetes or high blood pressure. (Disclosure: I do have both of those conditions, so technically I am not really "disease free," am I? )

But if you insist on invoking the abbreviation "DDF," please, be consistent, or at least offer me some "news I can use," and expand your definition to include some health information that this HIV negative guy (me) actually cares about.

So for starters, please update your profile every time you have an open cold sore on your lip, as your unknowing ability to INFECT me with herpes on my dick from a blowjob is actually MUCH more of a worry to me than, say, an "oral encounter" with a poz undetectable guy with no active cold sores would be. His undetectable HIV won't give me anything, whereas YOU under those circumstances might very well give me the "forever" gift of a herpes sore on my dick!

But most of you with that "DDF" mentality will ignore this. It is not convenient and you settled into a comfortable "us and them" mindset that you never revisit to see if it even still makes sense.

Instead, you will continue to list a "last tested for HIV" date, in many cases well over the three month window within which it means something, in a few unintentionally ridiculous cases, you list your last HIV test from years ago, and you will think you have put paid to the whole infectious disease issue.

I was never able to fix "stupid," but I realize now, I can't do much about a closed mind either.