more about richard

richard and i met april 12 1990, he was 19 and i was 21 , a week later he moved in with me, you see he had been living with friend as his dad had kicked him out . when he lived with his mother she was constantly putting him in boarding schools you see he suffered from severe depression and i also think ptsd, as he was abused physically and sexually by his step father. years ago richard got a letter from his mother telling him to have a nice life, he didnt speak to her for 15 years and he did well. back in 2007 he suffered from migraines because of a wreck he had been in he went through the windshield, the dr gave him fioricet for the migraines, he was addicted to them, at the time he lived in his own place down the road from me and john, he was having a migraine and kept taking the fioricet, he knew something wasnt right and he went to the er where he was admitted i went there and they had him on life support, i called his father, he and richards sister went to the er, his sister called his mother and she spoke to richard, after he got out of the hospital he he spoke to his mother nearly every day he planned a trip there she lived in texas, he went for 2 weeks which turned into a month i took care of things here for him while he was there, she talked him into moving there, her theory was i was holding him back. he came back here and decided nc was his home so he didnt go ahead with the moved after all she told him his pets werent welcome there in her home. he didnt talk to her for a few weeks then they started back talking and she asjked him to come for another visit and help her with her dogs, he did he stayed 2 weeks he got frustrated with things and came back, i bought him a bus ticket back here and he left through the night while everyone was sleeping, for 3 or more weeks he never heard from his mother, he called her one day and she said "i knew you were ok" she was short with him on the phone . a few weeks later she called richard for help with her dogs as she had a mother dog pass away during birth, so she needed help with the puppies, he explained to her he wasnt doing well he was back and forth to the hospital with his side hurting and they couldnt figure out what was wrong. she told him he was making excuses not to come there was nothing wrong, she guilted him into coming. he went and was very sick he slept the first 2 days he was there, he did not eat he stayed in his room and no one checked on him, after the fourth day he told her he wanted to come back home and go to the dr and try to find out why he was having such pain, later that day she went into his room threw money on the bed and told him she would take him to the bus station in the morning, he got back here and there was a big fight about it she kept saying there was nothing wrong with him. he finally went to his regular dr and she checked him out and said i think its you gall bladder, she sent him for the neccessary text to find out he had gall stones. he told his mother he was having surgery and she still said there was nothing wrong with him. i stepped in and offered to send her proof, she sent me and richard an email telling us to never contact her again. he tried so hard to be close to her but nothing worked.
he also tried with his dad his dad treated him differently from his other siblings. here is a good example richards sister lives about 6 mile past where we live, his dad knew where he lived and he drove once a week to see richards sister meaning he drove right by here, but when richard asked him to come visit him he said it was to far .back years ago we were renting a place and it was being sold so we had to find some where else to move to, richards dad owned a mobile home on a piece of property that wasnt being used, so richard asked him if we could rent it he let us. we had several problems the water pump went out and we called his dad and told him and he said i dont have the money to fix it, my dad came out paid out of his pocket and bought a new water pump and tank and spent his time fixing it, richards dad didnt even thank him for what he had done. during the winter the light bill went up pretty high, we were short on money and richard explained this to his dad and told he couldnt pay all of the rent, but we would catch it up in a few weeks, his dad told him if you cant pay all the rent you got to get out, so we found a place and moved. a few months later his dad let his sister move in the place he didnt charge her any rent and he paid all of her bills for her. things went sour and they didnt speak for years.
in 2012 richard had a need to try to make things right so he contacted his father, his father invited him over and they talked his dad was brief with him though, his dad did ask if richard could help him with his yard richard agreed, me and richard would go over to his house every 2 weeks to mow the grass, his sister made a comment about richard mowing the grass and that ended, i remember during that time our car battery died richard asked his dad could he loan him 70 dollars to get another battery, his dad told him yes this time but you have to pay me back as i dont have much money, he was paying richards sister insurance of 350 dollars and never made her pay it back .
you see richard was adopted, he was adpoted in germany as a baby and brought back here, his adoptive family constantly threw it in his face that he was adopted, and he wasnt really one of them. he often felt displaced.
back in december richard sat down with me and told me his last wishes, now i look back on it i think some how he knew he was fixing to pass. back in june his birthday month we started christmas shopping as he said he wanted a good christmas everything he mentioned he wanted i got for him he did the same for me.
january he spent alot of time doing things, we bought a car in january and he made sure it was done so no one could take the car from me , he made me promise i would keep mozzy his parrot as he was only used to richard and would tolerate me .
once a year he went to new york he went in 2013 and when he came back he told me that was the last time he was going. he also told me in december that if something happened to him he wanted to be home for me to take care of him, that last week i did, as he refused to go to the dr or er.
i found him sunday morning january 26 2014 he had passed in his sleep, the cause of death was morphine toxicity, i think from that last week where i couldnt get him to eat or drink it had built up in his system, he had also told me he wanted to go in his sleep in his home where he knew he was loved and cared for.
richard was a beautiful person he had passion for the things he did like his paintings, he was a beautician he was passionate about that, that the animals here were cared for.
he wanted me to handle his final wishes, but there was no will or anything, so his family was left to handle it, they wouldnt allow me to help, they called and told me they were having him cremated, i told them thats what he wanted and he wanted me to have his ashes, they did give them to me. when they were handling his final matters they called me to get his vital information as they didnt know it. they didnt have a service for him, as they told me they didnt feel like he would have wanted that, i think they didnt want people asking why they treated him the way they did.
they also told me that they felt bad richard went through life thinking they didnt care when they did, but i know first hand how they treated him, and they never tried to make contact with him it was always him trying to be accepted by them.
the upside to all of this was my parents treated richard like he was their child he could call my dad and ask for help and my dad would help him and not expect anything from him, my dad had richard helping him with a house he was working on they had such fun. my mom when she went out to visit she would go to richards house and go through his cabinets to make sure he had food if he didnt she would take him to the store. my parents bacame his parent and he got to know what unconditional love was from another humen being other than me.